Really Am I...?

So, I just broke up with my manfriend today. I can't really explain why...quite frankly, I really don't know myself. I just woke up one morning and was sick of seeing his face. Kinda like the Foo Fighters song..."I woke up getting tired of you..." (yeah, I'm black...and I listen to the Foo Fighters...WHAT?...They're the shit). Seriously though. Is that normal?

This is not the first time this has happened, either. I oftentimes get bored when the relationship seems "empty". Everything becomes routine...saying "I love you" gets lamer and lamer because the butterflies are no longer fluttering around in my stomach...the conversation is whack and silent times in the car are greatly appreciated...and every time he asks me for a kiss I want to karate kid kick his ass. Am I the only one that feels that way? Am I THAT Weird?

I really expected this relationship to be different. I like mature men but this 39 year old (12 years my senior) really disappointed me...even more childish than the 19 year old I dated. I think I need a happy median...I need a ripe younger dude. Gotta be down to earth (like myself), speaks his mind (regardless of what I think), tells the truth (no matter the consequence), has a charming but goofy when necessary personality (we have to be able to chuckle it up), and handles his B.I. (working/grindin' and in the bedroom). IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

I just want one. There is only one that I think could fit the bill...but he's a famous "jack of all trades" heartthrob (ADG) that doesn't even know me. There has got to be more out there, right?

I'm convinced that that special one, My Forever Dude, is around one of these corners...and one of these days, his ass will bump into me. Until then, I'm not afraid to let go of those who were only meant to be in my life for a season...even if they try to remain permanently for a lifetime. This probably doesn't make sense to most...and that's cool...call me weird. I'll be that. I'll take weird and happy over normal and miserable any day.